1: Very Strict Rules – But Well Communicated Running triathlon races takes a lot of structure and rules for safety and efficiency. This is known to me, but somehow the vibe I got coming to this event after a 3-year absence from the sport (and the last race before it’s run during the pandemic with different rules for social distancing etc.) was that the rules were somewhat heavy and oppressive. Still, when those rules are well communicated by volunteers, pre-race emails and written material in the race kit, I can’t claim there was any space for misunderstanding so it was easy to follow the rules.
2: Swim Start Needs To Be Broken Up In Waves The sprint race had 2 waves to start: the first was all males as well as non-gendered athletes. The second wave was all females. I’m more used to waves being broken up by age category as well as gender to spread the masses out in the water. Open water swim collisions are already scary for the beginner triathlete, and we were having these kinds of collisions even while treading water and waiting behind the starting line. I think it made the swim leg of the race more difficult than it needed to be.
3: Best Run Course The course followed the lake shore initially and had sections through a shady forest path and along residential streets with beautiful houses and people cheering us on from their front porches. One of the nicest run courses I can imagine.
4: P.A. System I saw a race crew member trying to locate a certain athlete by yelling throughout the transition area. The pre-race briefing where course details were shared with racers were done with a megaphone at least.
5: Body Marking Rather than write bib numbers on racers’ arms and calves, the race organizers supplied temporary tattoos. They look neat and worked well (though I was stressed about applying them properly), but it seems like an overcomplicated solution to what wasn’t really a big problem. Perhaps the tattoos will wear off faster than a number written in Sharpie, which is what I’m more used to and is easily done in a matter of seconds.
6: BC Beauty The bike course was a simple out-and-back with a little climbing (and thus downhills too), but even the simplest routes in the Chilliwack area can have beautiful greens and mountains to see.
7: Friendly Neighbour The fellow racking his bike next to mine in transition was very nice and friendly and we managed to meet twice during the race – we finished our swim and bike legs at roughly the same time. I think he must have been much faster on the run because I believe his total time was 10 minutes less than mine.
8: Cycling Jealousy I can remember being passed on the bike leg very far along the total distance and seeing what kind of difference a very expensive bike can make. I’m used to that – but on that day I got passed by someone riding a simple commuter bike and I was unable to catch him again – he must have very strong legs!
9: Cool Weather The temperature was in the low 10s at the start of the race. When I first got on the bike with wet skin and no sleeves I was freezing, but luckily the early parts of the bike ride were an incline so the work of going uphill quickly warmed me. I think the cool weather meant I also felt less need to drink water, which meant better speed as I didn’t slow down to hydrate (or urinate).
10: Cool Location Cultus Lake has a water park and theme park nearby and other cafes and restaurants. We could have stood to take more advantage.
I bit the bullet and signed up for a Sprint Triathlon after a hiatus. My wife always encouraged me and dismissed my excuses and the negative idea that I was not in good enough condition to take it on — she figures I won’t improve my fitness without the deadline and goal of a race, and there may be some truth to that. She asked me if I have a training plan for it, and it’s unlikely that I can find one on the internet that will fit into the 6 weeks I have to get ready, never mind one well suited to someone who is experienced, but in worse shape than some beginners.
I have over 10 years of experience in triathlon, so I will show confidence in my ability to wing it. Here’s a checklist of what I think I need to do or be able to do before mid-September.
Weekly Running Mileage increase to 15km per week
Long Runs of over 5km
Bike: 60 Min sessions on the trainer
Swim: Get into my wetsuit
Swim: 750m open water swims
Swim: 1000m (total, broken into 100-200m intervals) pool workouts
Bike: 30 min hill sessions
Run: 30 min hill sessions
Transition: Check Equipment (Make sure my racing shoes are OK. Goggles, water bottles etc.)
Today, I booked a 75 minute “float”; I lay in an enclosed tub that shuts out light and sound, and the water is heated and salted so that you can feel weightless and don’t notice the water over time.Here’s what can happen while the time goes by.
1: Hallucinations I’ve never experienced this, but I’ve read that it can happen, so I thought I’d mention it and get it out of the way.
2: Itches With nothing else to notice, I find itches to scratch. It’s a problem for me when I meditate too.
3: You end up tasting the water. Probably from touching your face It’s disgusting.
4: Your Muscles Relax …in a way you’ve never experienced. You don’t have to support anything, or swim to keep your head above water, so your whole body (and thus your mind) can just be.
5: You Stretch In spite of the relaxation, I still felt some pain and tension in my worst spots. Stretching in a float is entirely different, because you can maintain that weightlessness (up to a point) and adopt poses you couldn’t on the ground.
6: You “Dance” Similarly, it’s fun to sway and feel your way through the water.
7: You Daydream
8: You Reminisce I had some nostalgic thoughts
9: You Lose Track of Time I really wasn’t sure how long I had spent in there at various intervals. When the chime went off to let me know I was done, I could have thought I was only halfway done, or had been in there more than 2 hours.
10: You Can Practice Meditation and Breathing Exercises You feel peaceful and patient, and there’s not much else to do.
I grew up in a suburb, and there comes a point in your youth when you decide they are lame. You’re not where the ‘action’ of the city is, nor do you have the wide-open spaces and freedom of a more rural setting.
Before I got married I lived in a condo along Toronto’s lesser-used subway line (the University-Downsview line). While it wasn’t downtown Toronto, the nearby subway let me access the core of Canada’s largest city, and Eglinton had some more upscale businesses that spoke to some of the glamour Toronto had to offer. There was a handy nearby running trail, but you’d have to think a little about cycling – lots of intersections with traffic lights or stop signs to slow you down. The running trail was too crowded for higher-speed cycling. I’m honestly not sure how to evaluate how kid-friendly the neighbourhood was overall, but I know my condo did not have a backyard.
Our current residence in Abbotsford BC is pretty rural. The space behind the house is huge and the air is always fresh (ok, maybe some manure smell sometimes). We don’t however, let the kids leave the property, as big trucks are constantly whizzing by (did you ever see Pet Sematary? Don’t). Even when my wife and I go out for a walk, we either drive to a second location or wear a high-visibility safety vest or other illumination to be seen by drivers passing by.
All this to say, I love the suburbs. The suburbs have a dark history, where the way they were planned was to encourage racial segregation and block access to education for marginalized groups. I’m hopeful, that, in spite of this history, as long the residents of a suburb can represent a good portion of the community’s diversity, the benefits of a planned suburb can be enjoyed by all.
Here are 10 Things I Love About the suburbs (this list represents my best experiences, and when suburbs are done right).
1: Sidewalks
If you’ve ever been a pedestrian in a space that didn’t feel safe for pedestrians, you probably won’t take a nice sidewalk for granted again.
2: Bikes, Skateboards, Scooters, Inline Skates
Between those sidewalks, some paved multi-use trails, or even streets that aren’t too busy, you’ll see people moving under their own power, getting fit and protecting the environment.
3: Parking
In spite of the previous points, if you use a car to get around (like so many do), having a place to put it is hard. Whether it’s driveways, garages, carports, or simply pulling up in front of the house (as you do when visiting a friend), it’s generally a safe, stress-free experience.
4: Parks and Playgrounds
Good for kids to play, or adults to get exercise. Increase the green space we need to keep the air clean.
5: It’s a Threshold
In the book ‘Mostly Harmless’ Douglas Adams describes happiness as a Lake House. A state of being on the verge of two different states of being. A Lake House is by the water, yet on land, which explains why it’s such a desirable piece of real estate. A suburb is the boundary condition of being near a city (and its amenities) and a more rural space (with its natural benefits).
6: Backyards
It’s nice to have a little green space of your own.
7: Noise
Both urban centres and rural settings have sources of noise (nightclubs, trucks, tractors, farm animals).
8: Sports Fields
Softball, football, and soccer are all ways to stay fit, have fun and join your local community.
9: Utilities (including Internet)
Infrastructure can be more easily maintained in the suburbs. In the city, digging up a road or accessing subterranean equipment can mean disrupting critical commercial operations or working around important landmarks. In the country, there might not be that kind of infrastructure at all (unreliable power, no high-speed internet, your waste goes to a septic tank you have to maintain).
10: It’s been idealized by modern pop-culture
I saw a post lambasting the movie American Beauty – a masterpiece of 90s film where the idea of working a corporate office job and living in the suburbs with a family caused enormous ennui. For millennials, the world of having a steady job with benefits and a roof over your head seems like an out-of-reach fantasy. It’s how many people in Western society grew up, and what they still ultimately aspire to.
I chose to participate in the Canadian Cancer Society’s Fundraiser ‘Dry February’ – the rules are simple, don’t drink alcohol for the month of February (or as long as you can). You can insert your own joke about it being the shortest month of the year, but the truth is, I could still use a donation or two to get to my goal, so if you have the means please click on this link to donate.
I have every confidence I’ll make it through to the end, but I’ve been observing when the urge to have a drink creeps up, and it hasn’t been what I expected.
What I Expected
I thought it would be when I’ve had a tough and stressful day that I would want to use alcohol to ‘”settle my nerves”. I’ve had plenty of those sorts of days in February, but having to abstain from having a drink hasn’t felt like much of a sacrifice. That’s the good news.
The Unexpected Times I Found Myself Wanting a Drink
Food Pairing: Some kinds of foods I most often like to have a beer with – burgers and pizza are notable examples. For steak and some pastas (especially tomato-based sauces) a glass of red wine would have been nice. Instead I found myself with water (or maybe milk) – which are certainly healthier, but it made the meal feel like less of an indulgence
Restaurants: Beyond the obvious correlation to the above, where if I’m treating myself to a night out and the food is good, I want to pair it with the right libation, I find there’s a lot of suggestion in restaurants. From my table, I can see what kinds of beers are on tap, signature cocktails get their own featured menu, as do the wine lists. Those signature cocktails catch the eye when you see one being brought to another table.
Television: Right now we’re watching Inventing Anna where most of the action takes place within the world of the ultra-rich so you see a lot of partying and luxury. We also watch a British series Cuckoo and there’s a fair bit of drinking on that show too, with the added bonus of making me nostalgic for my late 20s in Grad School at Leeds University. Anytime there’s a scene of people celebrating, or having one of those “settle the nerves” drinks after a tough day, there’s a pang I feel like a voice asking me “wouldn’t that be nice?”
I don’t have regular access to a bathroom scale, so I haven’t been able to measure any weight loss, and frankly, that didn’t interest me at the moment anyway. It’s possible I’m a little more trim and fitting into my clothes is a little easier, but on the other hand, my desire to ‘treat myself’ has translated into a stronger sweet tooth, and I find myself indulging in sweet foods maybe more than I should. I haven’t had all good nights for sleep, but at least none of them have been due to the way alcohol disturbs your circadian rhythms.
Whether it’s for a good cause, health benefits or simply to discover your own patterns, I think doing a dry month (or even a couple of weeks) is a worthwhile endeavour.
Before the Labour Day weekend of 2021, we pulled the trigger on our move to British Columbia. I had driven from Toronto to Calgary once, but I didn’t think I could re-create the same route and timing with the kids. Using Google Maps shows that crossing the country is accomplished the quickest with crossing the US border, but COVID-19 testing requirements ruined that idea. So we left early in the morning from Mississauga with a fairly unambitious goal of making it to Sault Ste Marie (the Canadian one – there’s one on the Michigan side too!).
Before I get into the journey, I should mention our packing. Obviously, we couldn’t fit everything we owned into my Kia Sportage, but a Thule rooftop carrier and trailer hitch bike carrier made it feasible that we could have a bit of life when we got there. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my wife’s bike onto the rack due to its shape; it’s a ladies-style leisure bike and doesn’t have the normal triangular frame that the rack needed. The upside is I got to bring 2 bikes, my Trek hard-tail and Sable. The drive into Northern Ontario, was part familiar (maybe till around Sudbury), then got new and novel.
Photo actually taken in Sault-Ste-Marie, but it shows how we were kitted out.
We stayed in a Holiday Inn and ate at Montana’s.
The next day’s driving was a tricky one – we selected Dryden as our destination; Thunder Bay wasn’t far enough, Kenora was too far. Thanks to stopping in White River for the Winnie the Pooh monument (and a job interview over the phone), we were driving through lonely Northern Ontario roads in the dark and rain, which was a little white-knuckle for my tastes.
2 days just to get out of Ontario! The next day took us clear through Manitoba with a stop at a Winnipeg McDonalds’. In Regina we had a nice evening of Sushi and Steak at an Earls’.
Sample of the kind of scenery the prairies provide
Now we knew we were closing in on our new home. The next day we spent some time getting last-minute items for school including socks and pants. We stopped for lunch in Medicine Hat, but had something special planned for the evening – we would be staying at the Canmore Inn. Canmore is a tourist town for sure but was the better option (compared to Banff) going into a long-weekend COVID or not. The kids loved the waterslide and pool and it was a welcome change from being cooped up in the car for 3 days. Lucky for us, the Lightning Kid had a swimming cast on. Did I not mention he had a broken ankle?
Here’s a video to get you caught up!
From Canmore, we got to drive through the mountains, and start really savouring the scenery.
The cell service in the mountains was surprisingly poor, given that we were on the Trans-Canada highway, and we had been forewarned that forest fires were still active. Though there was nothing dangerous to us, we could smell smoke throughout our drive and we saw a helicopter dump extinguishing chemicals on a small fire.
We arrived at our temporary digs in Langley in the late afternoon. The kids attend school in Abbotsford, and Shark Boy is back to competitive gymnastics training in an actual gym. We’ve moved around the Fraser Valley a bit, but we’re settled in nicely here. More BC adventure reports coming!
This post is another throwback to coping with the pandemic and lockdown. Ontario had nothing going on in terms of camps or activities, or at least not when you could plan for the summer, and the kids were long overdue for someadventure, and the adults needed their alone-time.
We had researched FlipFest and its sister event NinjaFest; a competitive gymnastics, and obstacle course/ninja warrior camp respectively, that are held in Crossville, Tennessee. We enrolled the kids for mid-July and plotted how to get there. The land border was closed into the US, while flights back into Canada had their passengers diverted into Quarantine hotels (which could only serve to help spread the virus by concentrating at-risk travellers into small spaces), so the workaround was to fly there and drive back.
The Drive Down
My car was shipped across the border from Niagara Falls, Canada to Niagara, NY, and we flew on 2 helicopters to meet it.
Each flight was only 7-8 minutes long, but the chopper could only seat 3, so we needed 2 flights. The car left on a truck ahead of our scheduled flights. After clearing customs, we hopped into the car and drove till we got hungry in Erie, PA, and had some pizza for lunch.
Then we drove on to Cleveland West- I booked mostly Holiday Inn Express and Suites on this trip since I’m an IHG rewards member. Unfortunately, the pool at this hotel was under repair/maintenance of some kind, so there was no fun reward for the kids being patient in the car. Instead, we found a SkyZone Trampoline Park. We found a nice Italian restaurant in a shopping village.
From the Lightning Kid YouTube Channel
On Day 2, we made our way to Lexington, KY. Our timetable getting to Tennessee was not an aggressive one, because none of us were sure how well we’d fare with the long drive. I’d made it to Kentucky in a day on a road trip in my twenties, but travelling with a family (never mind one that is recovering from lockdown blues) is obviously different. Before hitting the road, the Lightning Kid and I did a little geocaching – whenever there’s time and we’re in an unfamiliar area, it’s worth checking if there’s anything nearby to be found.
After some driving, we decided to try our first Chick-Fil-A at Columbus’ Polaris Fashion Mall food court. I’ve got to say, their chicken sandwiches were overhyped – I don’t think we’ve been missing that much in Canada. On the other hand, we gorged ourselves at a Cheesecake Factory once we reached Lexington.
The third day was the 4th of July. We tried Sonic and their killer milkshakes for lunch en route. We had We got a Holiday Inn in Newport, TN, and went to see the sequel to Boss Baby (Boss Baby: Back in Business) in a theatre – in Ontario, they still weren’t open. We had dinner at a Cracker Barrel and tried Okra for the first time while trying to distinguish between Chicken Fried and Country Fried – if we figured it out, I’ve since forgotten it. Once it got dark, we were able to see a few fireworks from the hotel windows.
Tennesee Family Time
Having arrived in Tennessee, we stayed at a ‘Glamping’ Camp Resort, and our first night was spent in a Treehouse!
We spent the day in a fairly relaxed manner, swimming in the pool, playing Cornhole, as well as eating Barbecue and ice cream. We took some time to check out Gatlinburg, which is quite the tourist trap – I had the verse from Johnny Cash’s ‘Boy Named Sue’ running through my head: It was Gatlinburg, in mid-July, and I’d just hit town, and my throat was dry… I thought I’d grab myself a brew… We drove up to Ober, which was just closing, so we didn’t get to try much in terms of activities. In winter it’s a ski resort, which kind of blows my mind that people can ski in Tennessee. We slept well in that treehouse and were sad to have to leave it.
The next day we used the Gatlinburg Trolley Service to go into town and had a long wait in line to ride a chairlift to the top of Anakeesta, a local theme park.
We were highly unused to crowds at this stage, and since standing in crowded lines is part of any theme park day, we were a little unnerved and unable to fully enjoy the experience. It was a hot day, and the Lightning Kid took to a splash pad we found near the top after lunch. He and I were going to take a coaster ride, but the wait times were too long. The kids did enjoy a cat-walk play area, but I didn’t get pictures. Still, it was a great view of the Smokey’s and we opted for a bus ride back down to the bottom.
Once we got back to the Campground we had to check out our Safari Tent, thankfully it had a portable air-conditioner as the canvas walls weren’t breathable and the summer heat was on!
We were in this Safari tent for two nights. The second day was spent with more swimming, Cornhole, and searching for breakfast. We grilled sausages by the fire for dinner. We really enjoyed the community feel of our campsite, and it was so nice watching the boys make friends.
The next day we checked in at another campsite, this time in a cabin. The Jellystone Park in Pigeon Forge. Pigeon Forge is Dolly Parton’s hometown and where Dollywood is found. We didn’t make it there; as we were still a bit wary of crowds (and expenses) from being tourists in Gatlinburg, but I’d encourage anyone and everyone to look into Dolly Parton’s biography because she is fascinating.
The Jellystone campground had a fun jump pad/ trampoline that the boys got to use to warm up their skills prior to their sleepaway camp (which was the purpose of this trip).
Our final destination as a a family of four was Crossville TN. Checking your kids in to their first sleepaway camp can be a little nerve-wracking. Shark Boy did a couple of overnights with Beaver Scouts, and sometimes at a friend’s or grandparent’s place. The Lightning Kid had only done overnight Beaver Scout camps with me as a leader. They were both anxious, and so were we leading up to it, but the check-in process at Flipfest was so encouraging and we were so happy to see our kids be able to interact with peers again that there were plenty of smiles (brave smiles, but smiles all the same) around.
My wife and I headed back to our hotel in Crossville with nothing to do but enjoy the peace and quiet. For about an hour, when we got a call from the camp! We were terrified that the Lightning Kid was not fitting in somehow – the fear of the special needs parent, or at least, fear #437 – but it ended up that Shark Boy had twisted his ankle. We spoke to the camp director and we came to the consensus that we wanted to wait and see with some icing, rather than rush to a hospital. In the end it ended up being the right move, since he was training at full capacity within a couple of days, having taken one day to treat the ankle lightly.
After that, we were able to have a couples weekend (which actually took place on a Monday/Tuesday) in Nashville. We stayed in a beautiful hotel called the Bobby. Unfortunately not every amenity was in full swing (e.g. rooftop pool, rooftop bar weren’t operational during the week.
Our first night in Nashville made it hard to find the barbecue that Tennessee is famous for – the line-ups and crowds were a bit much for us. It was exciting to hear live music come out of every bar though.
We had better luck the next day and reserved at Puckett’s Grocery Store early. We spent part of our afternoon at the Johnny Cash Museum. Some of my favourite parts were listening to all the great artists that have covered the Man in Black over the years (did you know Miley Cyrus did a live cover of A Boy Named Sue?). We’d been listening to Johnny Cash a fair bit on the drive down as a Tennesse music primer. Seeing him act in some TV shows and movies was a hoot too (he seemed to like to play the villain).
At Puckett’s, I tried a flight of Tennessee whiskeys and I’ve been on the lookout for a bottle of George Dickel‘s ever since. There was great BBQ, and live music from an artist named Troy Kemp managed to stoke an appreciation for country music in this heart of mine.
The next day, we left the urban environment of Nashville behind (though hopefully not for the last time) for a bed and breakfast in a more picturesque area, and not so far from the Flipfest camp (just in case). The Garden Inn Bed and Breakfast had a nearby trail with some nice lookouts (especially the aptly named Bee rock – the large bees kind of scared us off extending a sunset walk beyond a certain point).
We were able to do some nice hiking by Falls Creek Falls State Park. I actually used the waterfalls themselves to cool off after a tough, hot hike down. We added a little more walking and tried the suspension bridge with some trepidation.
Another day went by and suddenly we were picking the boys up from camp. They had a wonderful time, apparently their favourite part was the ‘Blob’ – a giant inflated pad which launches one kid up and into the lake when another kid drops onto it from a height. They had campfires, dance nights, and loads of other fun, and they’ll be begging us to go back next summer, I’m sure.
The drive back was through Lexington and we stopped in Cincinatti. From there to Detroit and across the border thanks to the negative PCR test results we got from a CVS in Crossville. We got home and spent 2 weeks quarantining which was difficult, but probably worth it in the long run.
Swimming! Biking! Running! Mountain Biking! Travel! Bucket Lists! Enter the COVID-19 pandemic…
Obviously, this blog has slowed down a lot over the past few years, and the pandemic is not the only cause. I’m getting older and while there are plenty of athletes who keep on trucking through middle age and even into their golden years as seniors, the act of ageing has not ever made physical activity easier. In short, I’m not as active and since this blog is mostly about active living, there haven’t been posts.
While doom-scrolling Twitter, I still see running and triathlon posts from accounts I follow, and as you might guess, there are athletes who have been able to actually thrive during the pandemic, but most of us have had to struggle with the impacts on our structures and schedules – the boundaries between our work, family and personal lives have been blurred practically beyond recognition. Not to mention dealing with what amounts to a straight-up assault on our mental health.
I did come across this letter to a column in Outside magazine, and I saw many response tweets indicating it resonated with a lot of people.
I wrote into Tough Love to ask @BlairBraverman what to do about my recent obsession with lower key outdoor hobbies. As always, she had excellent advice. https://t.co/7zpwcGWRjg
Outside magazine does cater to athletes and adrenaline junkies, so it’s nice to see this endorsement of the ‘mellower’ side of the outdoors. We’ve all had a lot to cope with during the pandemic and its associated consequences (e.g. isolation), and while maintaining our physical health is important, our mental health has taken the bigger beating during this time. While exercise and the outdoors have a lot to contribute to mental health and wellness, the fact that anxiety and depression (or just about any other mental illness) will impede your ability to ‘Get Out There’ or ‘Just Do It’.
I did manage to participate in a socially distanced triathlon in August of 2020, but otherwise, I’m less active and fit than I was pre-pandemic. No races, no gyms, and while we have a good amount of fitness equipment at home (including stuff for Shark Boy’s gymnastics), I had depression sapping my will and motivation to exercise, and the duties of being a remote learning teacher’s assistant draining my energy too.
When the kids were younger, they needed constant parental presence, but they took naps and fit into our Chariot jogging stroller/bike trailer (see the archives for some of those adventures). With them now being older yet not having access to friends or structured activities, we found ourselves having to be active as a family in ways that were either better suited to shorter legs, or to preferences of boys who have always had their own ideas…
One form of exercise I’ve been getting more of instead of say, running or cycling is basketball. Ever since the Toronto Raptors won the NBA Championship Shark Boy has been obsessed, and I guess I’m the person in the house best suited to give him a challenge.
I was never very good at basketball, and I’m still not, but playing almost daily has certainly improved what little skill I had. The general wellness mantra is to ‘Move Your Body’ and the one-on-one (or two-on-one with the Lightning Kid) have often been my only significant movement during many lockdown (or general pandemic) days.
We certainly did what many families did and made simple walks around the neighbourhood or bike rides into our semi-regular exercise regimen. You can only walk around your neighbourhood so many times without purpose, though.
Enter Geocaching. If you’ve never heard of it, everywhere you go, a secret subculture has hidden small treasure chests (I mean, really small, some smaller than your pinky), just about anywhere you can think. They are usually accessible on foot, with some leg work involved. They are listed on the web, and with the right co-ordinates and some hints, you can find them. Of course, a smartphone and the app make it much easier. You can record your achievement in finding them in a small logbook that is stored inside, or again, simply use the app. It’s free, though access to the bulk of the caches out there (especially some that are more challenging) requires a subscription. To keep giving us something to do and keep exploring, I paid that subscription fee (currently $8.29CAD/month).
Want to see us in action? Did I mention the Lightning Kid now has a YouTube channel? See the video below and go ahead and like and subscribe!
It gave us an excuse to get out and about, and whenever we’re in a new area or neighbourhood with some extra time to spare, I can count on the Lightning Kid to help me look for these little treasures. Sometimes people put little dollar store toys in them for kids. I have to start paying it forward by restocking the ones I find. I might even create one of my own.
What kinds of new ‘mellow’ hobbies have you started thanks to the pandemic?
It’s been a while since I posted anything, and while I suspect a blog like mine is rapidly becoming a type of dinosaur. This article (“Why it’s time to stop worrying about your children’s screen time during COVID-19” ) moved me to put some of my thoughts down – even if they might still be a bit scattered.
It isn’t time to stop worrying about screen time; but then, it was never time to ‘start worrying’ – worry implies anxious thinking rather than taking action. Screen time has become somewhat of a necessity during the pandemic, but that doesn’t mean its documented effects are gone, and their impacts are probably more important than before. Screen time can affect sleep quality, and high sleep quality is probably the best defence against mental illness, including anxiety and depression, which are both at high levels in pandemic times. For reference, as of this writing, where I live, the Canadian province of Ontario, is in a State of Emergency, which is distinct from a Lockdown in… ways that aren’t necessarily all that clear to me. Suffice it to say there are no indoor places to go (libraries, gyms, extracurricular activities, schools) and outdoor ones are limited by capacity and pre-booking.
Not All Screen Time is Equal
The biggest takeaway from the article I linked at the beginning is that simply measuring screen time is an extremely coarse way to look at the problem. The kids are in front of their screens for school, so taking that away would simply be depriving them of an education, so that’s what I’ll call the first tier of screen time, and has the lowest ratio of risk to reward. I’ll break down some other categories as I see them.
Zoom/Other Video Conferencing for Extracurricular Activities: Shark Boy is trying to stay in competitive gymnast shape through Zoom sessions. He does not really like it. We do have some mats and equipment that lets him practice some techniques, but mostly it comes down to grueling conditioning exercises. He’s 11 years old, and I have to hope that somewhere in that developing pre-teen brain there is the understanding of cause and effect, and the knowledge that conditioning is necessary to keep a body capable of doing the ‘fun stuff’ of flipping and twisting, etc. When restrictions were a little lighter, the Lightning Kid (age 9) started Karate and a local dojo and was really thriving with it. He’s got a great passion for all things ‘Ninja’ and for a while I had him signed up with an online ‘Ninja’ program run by one of his favourite YouTube Channels (more on YouTube in a bit) – but I prefer that our money goes to an accredited Black Belt in our community. Unfortunately, the Lightning Kid does not enjoy online Karate and has not attended classes recently. They both do German School on Saturdays over Zoom. We are also considering piano lessons in a virtual (or partially virtual, if possible) format.
Movies/Television: Watching a movie or show as a family basically counts as quality time in my book, but it’s still screen time. Going on a walk/hike, skiing, swimming would all be better – but at least the communal nature of watching together (whether it’s all four of us, as siblings, or one parent one child) still makes for some bonding. I’ve also noticed from a sleep hygiene perspective that big screens from a distance interfere less with my personal sleep quality than small screens like phones/ tablets.
YouTube: I feel like an old man saying it, but I think I hate YouTube. The kids will watch hours of it, but when I try to put on a DVD of a classic family movie (‘The Iron Giant’) to save our bandwidth while my wife tried to have a high-priority Zoom call, they got bored in 20 minutes. Apparently, the appeal of a narrative structure that was worked on by hundreds of professionals can’t compete with Millenials yelling at the top of their lungs (because it’s the only way they know how to make their content dramatic and exciting). Obviously, not everything on YouTube is bad, and I can’t detract from families and individuals who have achieved financial independence (or even outright wealth) through their content creation. It’s just that even when we monitor and restrict content to ‘family-friendly’ stuff, what they can put out there should still come with a ‘Don’t Try This At Home’ disclaimer. Pranking your parents, hiding important items, and of course, yelling and screaming are all unwanted incidents that have invaded our home through YouTube…. but don’t forget to Like and Subscribe to the Lightning Kid channel 😉
Social Media: Our kids don’t have accounts on any platform (except the aforementioned YouTube and Facebook Messenger), but they can be affected by their parents’ consumption of misinformation, or simply the anxiety response provocation of a lot of what is found on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Once we mention something alarmist out loud within earshot of the kids, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. While I believe in tackling issues with open communication, even with children, the pandemic has provided a non-stop stream of questions with no easy answers, and our kids have to cope with too much ambiguity already. We have to try to filter some of that unknown and unknowable from ourselves, and if not that, from ourselves.
Video Games: Ah, the great evil of electronic media. While I think a hyper-realistic game like Call of Duty should be off-limits to all children except perhaps near-adults, and there is no Fortnite in our house, Shark Boy has been playing an online shooter that uses *eggs* with school friends as well as the incredibly popular ‘Among Us’. We have the strictest regimen for these – only with known friends, generally about an hour a week, only by appointment. I’ve been personally enjoying a fantasy RPG (Elder Scrolls IV: Oblvion) – which isn’t online and can be paused and saved at the drop of a hat in case I need to help chop vegetables or whatever else needs doing. I don’t recommend video games in the later evening for adults or children, as I think they are over-stimulating close to bedtime.
Structure/Obligations
When school was still in-person, we kept a morning checklist to keep the kids task-oriented and on time for school. It used to irk me that after years of doing it, we still need to order the kids and keep a written record of basics like ‘Eat Breakfast’ and ‘Brush Your Teeth’, but when the alternative is yelling and/or repeating oneself ad nauseam, you make your peace with the whiteboard. We’ve actually expanded the whiteboard checklist to include ‘Eat Lunch’ and ‘Outside Time’. Our kids also have some light chores like emptying the dishwasher, taking out the recycling, and putting away their laundry. I know some families are more hard-core about chores, and some don’t have their kids do chores at all. While the long term developmental benefits of having kids help around the house are good, my view is a little more self-serving and pragmatic when it comes to this. As parents, we already have the following duties:
Teaching Assistants: While school is online, teachers can’t do things like look over their shoulders to make sure the work is being done properly, ensure students get to class on-time, hand out worksheets, or console students during a meltdown (at least not physically). That’s us, the parents filling that role.
Housekeeping: Not every household had access to outsourcing these duties before the pandemic, but right now, I would guess the average household has seen an increase in how much they have to do housework – there’s simply more traffic in the house now that we don’t go to the office or school.
Playmates/Babysitting: I honestly don’t know how parents of only children do it. When our kids aren’t on screen, they do play with one another, at least until something escalates and parental intervention is needed. When we’re not breaking up fights, we also act as entertainment/clowns/whatever (see the Lead By Example section)
Job: That thing you do to pay the Internet bills.
With all that going on, the kids have to pick up some of the slack. In addition to homework, we’ll ask whether the chores are done as a way to interrupt or mitigate the total screentime.
Tell Don’t Ask
Did I say ask in the last sentence? I did not mean ask, because that doesn’t work as a means to interrupt the siren song of the screen. In my experience, you have to be willing to traverse the house to the child and physically disable the device or confiscate the remote, etc. I also have an app for each TV that acts as a remote so I can over-ride the screen. Our service provider provides an app that can monitor and control the Internet. I’ve put devices into different profiles including ‘TV’ and ‘School Tools’ which get controlled differently (rather than simply killing the Wifi entirely which could impact the adults’ ability to do their jobs). The TV profile gets disabled from 6 to 8:30 so the kids focus on being ready for school according to our whiteboard checklist and has an overall usage time limit. It seems like that time limit does not get enforced by the app restricting those devices after the time limit is reached, but at least I get notified and can take manual action.
Lead By Example
My phone has apps to control my kids’ screen-time, to monitor their school work. I check the weather on my phone to know how the kids have to dress for outdoor time. There are times when we are between obligations like meetings or preparing meals where we might look at social media as a means to pass the time that we can’t spend on something more constructive because the next obligation might come rushing around the corner. Let’s face it though, there are times we are straight-up doom-scrolling, and it would be better to put the screen away.
Every time we’ve gotten outside for a walk, hike, or anything, there’s been plenty of resistance, yet once we’re out the door, the boys start to play with each other exactly how you imagine kids should. Tag, maybe some roughhousing, running, jumping, climbing, and so on. I compare them to animals with a great deal of reluctance, but they resemble dogs off the leash so closely, I can’t think of any other comparison. I pointed out to them once that the way they were playing on our walk could just as easily be done in our backyard at any time. They just shrugged, because they’d never have come up with that on their own until we freed them from the lure of the screen.
Kids vary in their temperament, and we’ve been smart/lucky enough to have made getting outside a priority since our kids were babies, but I often think of this scene from the generally terrible movie, This is 40.
The problem here is that the parents try to quit electronics cold-turkey and force the kids to play outside in ways they’ve never been shown how to, and there’s very little evidence that they participated in the kinds of activities they suggested at any point. In the movie, Paul Rudd’s character was a cycling enthusiast and Leslie Mann had put in a lot of work with a personal trainer, but that doesn’t translate to their kids. What they needed to do was start getting their own hands dirty ‘playing with sticks’ themselves to engage the kids with the activity and model how it’s done. I don’t know how to make lettuce more appealing though.
We have some indoor activities too. While board games, yoga, and bedroom basketball can demand time from us as parents that is already in short supply, I think it does pay dividends in that they see there is more to life than screens even in quarantine. Sometimes they continue the games independently for a few minutes after the parents have left.
I’ll close out with a story of how the screen has actually inspired a non-electronic form of fun. The aforementioned ‘Among Us’ is basically a murder mystery where the players perform tasks around a space station while an Impostor lurks ‘among us’. We’ve created a ‘real-life’ version where little cards are drawn at random. The tasks are even geared toward cleaning up the house a little (though I’d caution against putting full-blown chores on the task list). The game needs at least 3 people, but 4 is better for making the logic and intrigue more fun and challenging.
What do you think? How hard should the limits on screen time be? Should there be flexibility depending on what kind of day it is, or does that lead to a slippery slope? Would you like to know more about ‘Real-Life Among Us’?
I’m not sure how I first got interested in the Wim Hof Method (beyond curiosity about how the more amazing feats of ‘The Iceman’ were accomplished. It was either the desire to take on a breathing practice that would be a meditative ‘downtime’ and increase mindfulness (being in the moment) during the day, or the idea of reducing inflammation in my body through cold exposure. Figuring out which came first is a chicken and egg problem since I partake in it for both benefits, although I can’t say I’ve gone ‘all-in’ on it… I don’t really go all-in on anything as I like to keep my wellness practices diverse and maintain a healthy dose of skepticism.
Introduction
If you’ve never heard of The Iceman or the Wim Hof Method, let me explain. Wim Hof is a man from the Netherlands who is known for his ability to withstand the cold. He holds the record for the longest swim submerged under ice, has climbed 7200m of Mount Everest in nothing but shorts and shoes as well as climbing Kilimanjaro similarly dressed. He has run the fastest half-marathon barefoot in ice and snow and was a previous record holder of the longest period of bodily contact with solid ice.
After losing his wife to suicide, Wim Hof found that exposure to the cold gave him a relief he was unable to find in any other way. He studied several Eastern meditative and yogic practices until he developed his own method which consists of 3 components: Breathing, Cold Exposure and Commitment/Meditation.
The Wim Hof Method, or WHM for short as I’ll be referring to it going forward, can be accessed in several ways. The main way is through a full-on online video course with supplemental reading materials that costs on the order of $200 (depending on promotions and the exchange rate with the Euro); I haven’t made that commitment, but there have been smaller promotions and versions, and my favourite is an app that has expansion packs for a small fee, available on iTunes and Google Play (search for WHM).
The 3 ‘Pillars’ of the WHM are Breathing, Cold Exposure and Mindset/Commitment.
Breathing
The basic breathing technique is diaphragmatic breathing with a focus on the inhale. You fill your lungs starting with expanding your belly before your chest, then release the air without using effort to expel it. Wim’s frequent coaching phrase is “Fully in… letting go”. You do this about 30 to 40 times, and on the final exhale, you keep your mouth closed (I sometimes plug my nose to keep from cheating) and try to hold for as long as you can (they recommend at least a minute).
Sounds hard? It is… sometimes I don’t make it for a full minute. Usually, the more I can still my mind, the better I do, but I don’t think I’ve exceeded 2 minutes more than a handful of times and certainly not in the past few months. Obviously, this should only be attempted in a safe space – they specifically warn against doing it while driving or in the shower or otherwise in water. I usually lie on the floor, sometimes in bed or on a couch. I’ve never lost consciousness (you would start breathing immediately if you weren’t consciously trying not to, but why take the rest? I’m most relaxed while I’m lying down anyway. Apparently some tingling sensations can be felt during this stage, but I usually get them at the next step. What I do experience is the need to swallow saliva (which usually signals the beginning of the end of the breath retention phase) and contraction of my diaphragm muscles.
When you can’t hold any longer, you take in a big lungful of air and hold for 15 seconds. During this period I have felt some light euphoria and pleasant tingling in my arms and legs. After those 15 seconds, you’ve completed one round, and you can repeat as needed. 3 rounds in the morning on an empty stomach are recommended. When I’ve done it later in the day, I often don’t last as long in the retention (breath-holding) phase.
A fun thing to try is rather than just holding empty lungs during the retention phase, try to do as many pushups as you can. I find I can usually do 2-4 more pushups after the breathing exercise than I could without.
Cold Exposure
The path to resisting (or embracing) the cold seems to be to try taking cold showers. You start with hot water and switch to cold, gradually increasing how long you can last. You might start with as little as 5-10 seconds. I can usually do a good minute, though I move around under the showerhead so it’s not just one part of my body getting cold. If you do the diaphragmatic breathing (without holding your breath) a little before going under, you can experience the sensation of your body warming from within and it makes it easier to withstand. Keep in mind, we are warm-blooded creatures and our bodies stay at around 37.5 degrees Celsius regardless of what your skin is feeling.
I played around a little with cold immersion last autumn when our new swimming pool had a broken heater (temperatures in low teens), but only once or twice with an ‘ice bath’. Even then, I only used a single bag of ice in a large soaker tub and stayed in for one minute. The more hardcore adherents put in a lot more ice and verify that the temperature is truly close to freezing.
Overall I do enjoy the sensation I get after the cold shower. My blood is flowing in my muscles almost like the middle of a workout, and there’s a mental clarity that you don’t get with a hot shower, in spite of how many of us use hot showers to ‘wake up’ in the morning.
Mindset/Commitment
I confess this is the ‘pillar’ I have spent the least time with. Within the app, the exercises available are Forward Fold, Reverse Balance, Headstand and The Shelf. These are all Yoga poses including 2 inversions and an arm balance. The justification for these seems to be mostly a way to track your overall progress and health. If you have Netflix, you can see an episode of Gwyneth Paltrow’s The Goop Lab where they explore the method, and the Goop team is seen doing a ‘horse stance’ with some quick punching and breathing to prime themselves for cold exposure including Yoga in the snow and jumping into an icy Lake Tahoe. The show doesn’t delve deep into the science and nor do I – there is plenty of medically dense terminology in the supporting literature you can find, (Wikipedia is almost never a bad place to start), I just didn’t want to get too bogged down in something I mostly dabble in. I will say that I’ve gotten through the cold/flu season (so far) relatively unscathed – some coughing and sneezing that only lasted 3 days.
The WHM is one of the inspirations (and foundations) of Laird Hamilton and Gabby Reece’s XPT, which I hope to explore in a future post.
